The Great Homestuck Shipping Challenge: Volume One: John
by TechnicalTragedy
Summary: The Great Homestuck Shipping Challenge (or TGHSC) is a thing I've been wanting to do for a while and finally just decided, SCREW IT, I'll write what I want to write. So here it is. Volume One: John. This is a challenge to write a series of stories about shipping EVERYONE IN HOMESTUCK. Of course, it won t be EVERYONE, because not everyone has a shipping name, and that s how I ship.
1. Prank War

One: John X John (Prank War)

John wasn`t a homosexual, nor did he practice incest. But he felt inexplicably drawn to his twin brother, Joshua.

All he knew is that whenever Joshua was around, he felt as if he were exploding inside, and his insides felt as if they were getting all tangled up.

He`d never told anyone about these feelings, somehow knowing inside that they were wrong, that no-one should ever feel this way about their own kin, but... y'know, 'we feel how we feel inside,' and all that jazz.

John was almost certain that Joshua knew how he felt, the way the boy who looked exactly like him would catch him when he was staring, and smirk knowingly, turning away before he could see the scarlet blush that would appear on John`s face.

John didn`t know why Joshua wouldn`t just approach him about it, though. John could never do something like that, he was much too insecure about those kinds of things. Joshua, on the other hand, was so outgoing and brave.

But one day... things changed.

John woke up, for once not smelling cakes, but bacon and syrup instead.

He cautiously goes downstairs, only to find his father hard at work making breakfast.

John didn`t mind it, and took a plate, digging in.

They were delicious.

After breakfast John went up to his room, only to find a wet, toweled Joshua digging through his drawers.

John blushes and looks away. "What are you doing, Joshua?" he asks.

Joshua turns to look at him, smiling. "Just looking for underwear, I`m all out."

John nods. "Third drawer down."

Joshua checks the drawer, and pulls out a pair of boxers with cakes on them. He smiles again, looking at John. "Really, John?" he asks. "Cake underwear?"

John shrugs. "Dad got 'em for me."

Joshua sighs, and drops his towel.

John drops his eyes as fast as he can, his crazy blush back, but he catches sight of something he probably shouldn`t see. "W-What the hell, Joshua!?"

Joshua laughs. "What? It`s not like you`ve never seen one of these before."

John coughs awkwardly. "That doesn`t mean you can just take your pants off!"

Joshua sighs. "Oh, don`t act like you don`t want to look."

His twin is silent for a moment. "What do you mean?" he finally asks.

Joshua sighs again, walking closer to John. "I know you like me," he murmurs.

John`s eyes widen, and he looks up at Joshua. "W-W-What? How d-did you find out?"

Joshua looks a tad sympathetic. "Oh poor, naive, John. It was easy to tell. You weren`t exactly subtle about staring at me."

John`s blush deepens dramatically, and he looks away again. "So... do you hate me?" John`s voice is small.

Joshua smiles. "No, John. I don`t hate you. In fact... I feel the same way."

He closes the space between them, and John looks up, surprised, just to have Joshua`s lips crash into his.

John is pushed against the door, and as the kiss continues, he feels his knees go weak.

After a moment or so of kissing, Joshua breaks it, and looks down at John.

He straightens, and there`s something mean in his eyes as he says, "April Fool`s, freak." Then the boy is gone.

John is left confused, but it hits him, and then he`s swept by an overpowering sense of sadness. "Great joke, Joshua," he mumbles to the empty air.


	2. Grimdorks

Two: John X Rose (Grimdorks)

It was just like Karkat had predicted. John had somehow ended up with Rose.

And they were happy.

John liked to look back on the days of Sburb with a smile, but pain always followed.

And sometimes he was sad.

Rose liked to look back on the days of Sburb with a smile, but hurt always followed.

And sometimes she was sad.

John would remember Karkat, his dear frenemy who he always considered a close friend.

And sometimes he cried.

Rose would remember Kanaya, her dear love who didn`t make it all the way through.

And sometimes she cried.

Neither one of them knew why they decided to get together; why they felt that strange attraction to each other.

And sometimes Rose wondered if it was simply their sadness that linked them.

John would sometimes watch those romantic comedies that Karkat loved so much, just to pretend, if only for an hour or two, that everything was fine again.

And sometimes he`d look over, smiling, and find that Karkat wasn`t there.

Rose would occasionally put on that old dress she still fit in, and would simply stare at her reflection.

And sometimes she`d smile over at Kanaya when she complimented her, only to find that the beautiful troll wasn`t there.

Rose and John would act like everything was fine, and that they were perfectly happy in their new life of domesticity.

And sometimes they`d wonder if maybe they should`ve tried harder to protect the people they loved. Or maybe they should`ve died with them.


	3. Hammertime

Three: John X Dave (Hammertime)

Movie nights, rap battles, stupid, childish jokes shared.

Staring contests that John never knew if Dave cheated at because of his dark shades.

Dave being forced to watch Con Air for the hundredth time because, god damn it, that`s a good movie.

These are the little things that make up their friendship.

The things they don`t mind doing, because they`re best friends.

They`re best friends, and they`d do anything for each other...

But being forced to kill his best friend?

That`s not a thing that John can do.

His hand shakes as he holds the gun.

Dave tells him to just do it, to save himself, because it`s already too late for him.

But John can`t do it.

He drops the gun, goes to his knees and holds Dave.

"If you have to die so I can live... I`d rather not live at all."

A shot follows his words, and suddenly John disappears, falling away from Dave.

A crushing silence ensues, and Dave finally looks up, at this man who could do such a terrible thing.

Before he can even think, there`s another shot, and a bullet lodges in his head.

There`s a dark chuckle, and footsteps.

Blood paints the room, and two bodies are in the center of it, by each other`s sides even in death.


	4. Dorkcest

Four: John X Jade (Dorkcest)

John had always been absolutely certain about how he felt for Jade.

He felt it in his chest, painful and hard, whenever she looked at Karkat like she did.

And he also felt angry.

Angry when he saw Karkat staring at Terezi, too blind to see the girl who wanted him.

It torn John apart, because, even though he loved Jade and wanted her for himself... he wanted her to be happy more than anything.

Her goofy smile was the thing he lived for, her laugh the sound that resonated through his head and left him grinning like a fool.

And Karkat had noticed his feelings, had told him to go for it, despite having once encouraged him to go after Rose.

This made John angry, too.

Jade didn`t _want _him, she wanted Karkat!

Why couldn`t that thick-headed troll just _see it?!_

So John exploded.

"Karkat, you`re a _FUCKING IDIOT. _You tell me to go after her, you can see that _I _like_ her, _but you can`t see that _she doesn`t give a shit! _She likes _YOU, _stupid!" John yells.

Karkat stares at him, startled. Finally, he asks, "What?"

John huffs. "She doesn`t like me Karkat. She likes you."

Karkat is silent, seemingly digesting this new information.

"But I don`t feel red for Jade," he states simply.

"I know you don`t," John murmurs. "That`s why it hurts so much. All I want is for her to be happy, and for her to be happy, she needs you, which is something she can`t really have at the moment."

Karkat looks away. "I won`t settle for second-best," he mumbles, and John growls, but contains his anger, balling his hands into fists and glaring at the floor.

"If you won`t be with her," he grinds out, "at least let her down easily."

Karkat nods.

The Cancer leaves John standing there, wishing that Jade would settle for him, maybe.

He doesn`t mind being her second choice, or even her third.

If he had Jade... he wouldn`t mind anything at all.


	5. Prancake

Five: John X Jane (Prancake)

When John had met Jane, he hadn`t really liked her.

She fawned incessantly over that Jake guy, and seemed a bit resentful towards Dirk, who, in John`s opinion, was a totally cool bro.

But his opinion of her had slowly changed. He still doesn`t know what exactly did it. Maybe it was her likeness to his father, so he clung to her, or maybe it was that she just seemed so familiar and dear to him.

He wasn`t sure, but he really wanted to get close to her.

After months of waiting, waiting for her to even acknowledge him, though, the feeling went away.

These two that were destined to know each other would never even get to speak.

But that`s just how the world works sometimes.


	6. Windicuffs

Six: John X Jake (Windicuffs)

John couldn`t stand him.

He couldn`t stand the way he smiled, wide and goofy.

He couldn`t stand the way he laughed, like a donkey braying.

He couldn`t stand the way he was so kind and handsome- no, not handsome.

Jake wasn`t handsome, and John wasn`t a homosexual.

But, for some reason, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he was straight, that he felt nothing for Jake, he couldn`t lie to himself.

However much he wanted to believe, it wouldn`t ever work.

He could convince everyone else that he simply hated Jake, but he knew, deep inside.

But John wouldn`t- couldn`t- ever call it love.


End file.
